We all want to create memories.  We want pictures to look back on things we've done, people we've been with, places we've gone.  Now we all have a camera in our hard 24/7.  It's cool because you can literally take a picture of anything, anytime, anywhere.  I love photography and I'm not going to say that cell phone pictures are or aren't art, that's a debate for another time.  What I do want to say is that maybe it's time we put the phone down.  We create memories by experiencing something, by being with others, by feeling.  By separating ourselves, by putting a lens between us and our experiences, we are taking snapshots of our lives rather than living them.  I'm not saying don't ever take pictures.  You want a picture of you and your friends at the base of a mountain, take one.  You want a picture of you and your lover on a night out, take one.  You want to photograph your food, go right ahead.  Don't forget to take in the experience though.

Now, let's talk about selfies.  Honestly, whatever you want to call it, people have been taking pictures of themselves since the invention of the camera, they were just called self portraits.  As a society though, we have become obsessed with getting the perfect selfie.  So obsessed in fact that it's killing us.  We want to photograph ourselves doing "cool" things. 'Hey (I say to myself), I'm on the top of this cliff and if I just lean over a little bit you'll be able to tell (in the picture I'm about to take of myself) that I'm up really high!'  Guess what, if you lean over "a little bit," you fall off the cliff and you're dead.  'Hey, there's a train coming and if  I stand on the tracks for just one second, it'll be a really cool picture!'  Guess what?  That train was going faster than you thought it was, and yeah, you're dead.  How about the people that strive to take the perfect selfie?  They want to be perfect and when they can't be perfect they want to change themselves to be perfect.  Perfect doesn't exist, the perfect selfie doesn't exist, now you feel bad about yourself.  That feeling of imperfection grows and grows and grows until you can't take it anymore and you want to end the struggle.

Now, let's combine these two phenomena.  We always want to create pictures of our memories rather than experiencing them, and we are on a constant look out for the next best selfie.  You're at the beach.  You see dolphins in the distance.  Cool!  Let's grab our camera!  Look how fast that little one is!  Oh, it's baby!  I'm just going to pick it up (out of it's natural habitat where it belongs) and take a picture with it.  Instead of putting it back in the water when the picture is done pass it along to the next person, and the next, and the next.  Ya know what, dolphins live in the water.  No, they don't breathe in the water, but they belong there.  Their skin is made for them to survive in the water, not on land.  So now.... you've yanked a beautiful, sensitive, intelligent creature out of its home, passed it around like a trophy, and now... it's dead.  It's almost worse than hunting because it's caused by stupidity and thoughtlessness rather than intention.

Live your moments, create a memory not just a picture, and think about the consequences of your actions.

https://www.thedodo.com/baby-dolphin-dies-for-photos-1607782616.html

Meowra came home from work today and she was tired and I could tell she wasn't feeling too well, so I thought I'd try to cheer her up a bit.  She walked into the apartment and immediately the Orange one ran to her yelling in her usual way.  The Black one was sleeping and when she sleeps, she's out there.  The only time she's zen is when she's unconscious.  Anyway, once the orange one woke the Black one up, they were both running around at Meowra's feet like furry little idiots.  I don't know why they do that.  The Orange one seems desperate for human touch, but when they touch her, she bites them.  I asked her why once, but she just swiped at me and ran away.  I guess it's personal.  The black one seriously doesn't know what she wants, but she wants it.  She was weaving in and out of Meowra's feet making her almost fall.  I caught the Black one smiling, I think she's decided it's funny to play cute and then plop.  It almost seems like a game.  If Meowra or Neown fall down 100 points, almost fall down 50 points, stop to pet the plopped cat 25 points, and if the humans don't even notice her, 0 points.  Maybe I should get in on this.

Sorry, I went off on a tangent.  Meowra came home today and was looking kind of ehh.  While she was trying to get through the other two, I did not run over to her, but I hid.  I've been spending a lot of time on this great padded box lately.  It's right in front of the heat and it's just so comfortable.  I knew she'd look for me there, and in all my other usual haunts (the bed, under the covers on the bed, under the bed, the bedroom couch, under the bedroom couch, etc...).  I'm not going to give away the location, it's mine!  If I say anything about it, it will get out somehow to the others and I'll have to fight for it.  Frankly, I'd rather just keep it secret, so... go away.

Oh yeah, so Meowra is through the door (finally) and she took off her outer fur (I'll never understand humans.  They don't have fur, but they put things on that are kind of like fur when they go out, it's weird.), and she goes and sits on the couch.  She takes off her shoes, she gets up, gets different shoes (like I said, humans, right?) and a drink.  She sits back down and she realized she hadn't seen me yet.  I kind of thought she would have noticed earlier, but whatever.  She looks on the padded box, she looks in the bedroom, she starts looking under things.  I'm nowhere to be found.  She even open the door to the outside to see if I'm there (long story, but it's happened before).  I wasn't outside.  I'm in my secret spot watching all of this on my secret kitty cams.

Before we go any further I would just like to make it clear.  I have the house wired.  Every nook and cranny, I have it on a live video feed.  I can't take any chances with another four people in the house.  When it was just the humans and the Orange one I could just look around, no big deal.  Then the Black one came, and she can be everywhere all at once.  I do not like surprises and she does those sneak attack things.  No, I'm not paranoid.

So, I'm in my spot watching Meowra go from curious, to freaked, to scared when she seems to get an idea.  She sits down on the couch and starts exploring her facebook page (yeah I was on catbook for a while, but I really don't need to catch up with my litter mates and the only other person I talked to was Heowld, and I see him anyway).  She starts humming.  I get a twinge of excitement.  Then she starts singing and I just can't take it.  It's like... a need washes over me.  I need to go to Meowra.  I don't even know if I like her voice, but when I hear that song, our song, I just have to run to her.  She might have seen me come out of my spot, I'm not sure, but I didn't care at the time, I jumped up on the couch next to her and sat in her lap as she petted me.  I woke up as the sun was going down and Meowra was sitting next to me.  I had lost maybe hours and hours, hard to tell.  She had clipped my claws, I know that.  She gave me that innocent human look, but I know my nails were lethal when I fell asleep and now they're just puny.

That human of mine, she's a sneaky one.  I'll have to watch her more closely from now on.  At least she seems less ehh now that I'm with her.  Maybe that's all she needed, a little Deownny time.  I'm off now, the Black one needs to be washed.  Good fur to you.

So, apparently I have a cough.  Thought it was just a hairball in he morning (I hid it somewhere Meowra and Neaowwn will never find it), but I guess it's more than that.  If it continues I'll just annoy the humans by coughing in their faces.  They'll think it's "cute."  Everything I do is cute.

The other two aren't as good as getting what they want from the humans.  It's not always about being cute.  Sometimes it's about being loud.  I mean the Orange one is loud, but it's all the time, not when she wants food.  She seems to think the humans are going to disappear on her and it makes her very anxious.  Whenever she sees them walking, she thinks they're leaving and chases between their legs while yelling.  It's hard to take a nap when she's doing that all the time.  Thankfully, our particular humans are kind of lazy, so they don't move a lot.  The Black one is a whole other story.  She's all over the place, and she's never clean.  I've tried to teach her to be zen, I've even gone as far as to hold her down while licking her into zen-ness, but nothing seems to work on that one.  As they say, youth is wasted on kittens.  She seems to think that if she just plops on the floor by their feet she can get anything.  All she gets is belly rubs that she doesn't even want.  She barely talks, and when she does she sounds like she has a pigeon stuck in her throat.  I've tried talking to her about using her human voice.  They can't hear our regular voices so we need to yell to be heard.  She's not good at that.

Anyway, I have to go lie down.  Time for a nap.  The Orange one is sleeping, so I've got a chance at a peaceful sleep.  The only problem is that when I lie down in the bedroom, eventually, the humans start to miss me.  They come find me and rub my belly, or Meowra comes and puts her head on my belly.  That's my weakness and they know it.  I can't help but purr and purr.  I love it, but it makes the other two come and see what's happening.  The Orange one starts yelling, desperate for attention, and the Black one can't help but chase her around a bit.  I mean, if someone was basically yelling in your ear wouldn't you try and get their minds on something else?  That makes the humans try to stop the Black one from "killing" the Orange one, and there's chaos.  I just want to sleep.

Who knows, maybe today will be different.  Good fur to you.

WARNING: this is a mandatory yearly retrospective.

(you have been warned....)

This year has not been the best or the worst of times.  I'm tempted to say it passed without incident, but not even my life is that boring.  From last December to this December I have been married happily to the man I am still happy to say is the love of my life.  One year down, woo!  Not that I'm counting in misery, just to make that clear.  People keep asking me how married life is.  My general response is that if it's the right person, it's great.  I have the right person.  It's grrreat!  I was watching Everybody Loves Raymond the other day.  It's an episode where Ray has to sit around for hours waiting for a delivery guy to drop off Debra's curtains.  He was aggravated.  His brother Robert came in and he started joking about marriage.  The end result was that Robert broke up with his girlfriend. As the family is crowding around Ray trying to make him fix what he had broken he tells Robert what marriage is.

"Ray: No! I got this! Look, you want to know what marriage is really like? Fine. You wake up- she's there. You come back from work- she's there. You fall asleep- she's there. You eat dinner- she's there. You know? I mean, I know that sounds like a bad thing. But, it's not." (The Lone Barone)

I know it's not the most romantic quote in the world, but... it is, and it's true.  I want to be with my husband all the time.  I like that he's always there.  I feel secure in that.  I like knowing that when I wake up I'm not alone, even if he's at work.  I don't know if marriage is specifically required for this feeling.  I think that if you are living with somebody you can get that too.  Marriage itself is not the point, the commitment is.

Anyway, this year is also the year that I gave up on the idea of being a high school teacher.  It's funny, when I was studying for my MA in education my mother kept asking me if I was sure I wanted to do it. "Mira, it's horrible, why do it?'  Now that I'm not studying for that degree anymore she keeps trying to make me go back.  I have a new plan.  I plan to get a MA in creative writing and hopefully from there get a PhD.  I'd like to teach college courses, run discussions on my student's writing.  I'd also like to work with my husband, so hopefully we'll be able to open a business together in the next 5 years or so.

This was also the year of the Rhiow (our cat).  She has become so cute in the last few months.  Not that her physical appearance has changed, she's always been beautiful.  She's just starting to act more like a cat and less like a kitten.  She's still ridiculously full of energy, but she's starting to calm down enough to be able to sit still for five minutes at a time.  We see the beginnings of a lap cat in the making.  We had both forgotten about this stage and how cute it is.  We're appreciating her in a whole new way.  When I say we, I'm including our other two cats as well.  Danny's happy she stays still long enough to lick (sometimes) and Patchouli is... well I don't really know what Patchouli is.  She seems okay with it though.

This is also the year of resuming lost friendships.  Once lost it's hard to say how long they will stay found, but it seems hopeful.  Friends are an important thing.  Don't lose them.  Family is not a choice, but friends are, pick wisely.

This is also the year my husband earned his professional license.  I am so proud of him.  Hey if you need an apartment or house, call Noam Goldhammer!

As the year comes to a close I can safely say I am ready to leave it behind to see what life has in store for me this coming year.  Welcome to 2016!  Happy New Year!!!

I realized that I need to get back into writing.  Not that I ever got out exactly, but I haven't been as prolific as maybe I should have.  After all, words are our salvation.  Words are our true explanations, our true feelings (at the point they were written), our creativity, our humanity.  Self expression is a mightily important part of who we are.  My medium is words.  What is yours?



Story line:
There's been a theft at the Met.  A sarcophagus containing the mummified remains of Bastet was taken.  Why?  Who took it?  Meanwhile, Princess Meowlanie was catnapped on the same evening. Coincidence?  Was she part of the theft or innocent bystander?
Investigator:  Danny J. Private Eye, recovering catnip addict, knows the seedy side of town, used to be involved with selfish Princess Meowlanie (she's still an addict).  He has to solve the crime, find the mummy and Meowlanie.  I hope nobody gets in his way.

I know it's not Shakespeare, but hey, I like cats.  Now I just have to write the story.

Again, I must apologize for my infrequent posts.  I have only posted two things for the whole year!  I will properly chastise myself.

So, it's almost Halloween.  Last Halloween I was in Maspeth with my lawyer and husband.  I hope this year we can be somewhere, anywhere, a little bit more festive.  Although, while waiting for the lawyer to fill out paperwork, we went to eat pizza, and walking around town showed us some very interesting costumed children, and quite interesting costumed adults!  There were a lot of zombies, and Elsa's, a few Ninja Turtles, and definitely some monsters.

This year I wanted to have a party.  It's still not definitely out of the question, but time is running out.  Halloween is on Saturday.  That won't happen again for five years.  My plan was invite people over, make them dress up in some way, hand out candy to my buildings trick-or-treaters, and watch some slightly Halloween themed movie with a drinking game of some sort.  I don't like horror movies.  The ones I have seen I find funny, not scary, and I refuse to watch movies like the Saw series.  I find the concept of scaring myself silly, well... silly.  I wanted to decorate my apartment with... skeletons, dress up my black cat as the devil, and serve a blood cocktail (vodka cranberry).  Somehow I don't see this happening.

Which movie would you watch?

What movie would you rather watch on Halloween?

Ghost

The Sixth Sense

Green Card

The Wizard of Oz

Poll Maker

Anyway, what are your plans for Halloween?

To the Man I love:

I want to thank you for everything you have done for me since we've met.  You are kind, supportive, and loving on a regular basis.  If I'm upset or angry, all I need to do is see your face to calm down.  You understand me in a way I never thought was possible.  When I was in the hospital you brought me a stuffed puppy and a pillow (something the hospital oddly didn't provide) without me expecting anything or asking you for anything.  Except for that brief stop over at home to feed the cats, you didn't leave my side.  You stayed in my bed with me all night, not sleeping, but being there for me.  I cannot express how grateful I am to have you by my side, to have you in my life, to have you loving me.  I saw how my pain upset you and I saw how anxious you were about my health.  I am overwhelmed by your love, grateful and humbled by it.

You are more than I could have ever dreamed of.  Not only are you my partner in life, but my friend.  I know now how special that is.

Thank you Noam.  Thank you for everything.  I love you.