The Pros and Cons of Waking Up Early:

Pros:

1. Get more done
2. Feel productive
3. You don't get that "I've slept too long" slump
4. You get to see the sun (which doesn't apply to me since I work in a basement)
5. You (apparently) can write in your blog
6. You can actually eat 3 meals in the day at normal hours (yeah, which again doesn't apply to me)

Cons:

1. You are tired- all day
2. In my case, my stomach hurts until 1pm or so
3. You don't get to dream as much.  This is a really big deal for me.  I love dreaming.  The longer I sleep the more likely I am to remember my dreams.  Also, they get more interesting the longer I sleep.  I've had dreams about a Pepsi factory out in the woods.  Interestingly enough, I don't even like Pepsi, I prefer Coco-Cola.
4. You get the bitch fest thing.  I'm not a morning person, stay out of my way.
5. You have to eat more meals a day.
6. Have I mentioned that you're tired all day?

Maybe it's just me.  I don't like waking up early, but I feel more productive when I do.  Also, if I sleep too late I am exhausted all day, until maybe 10pm, which is when my mind starts waking up.  I feel sluggish and slow.  It's not fun.  I love sleeping though!  They say people who sleep all day are depressed.  I am not depressed.  I just enjoy curling up in my bed, pulling my covers up over me, and lying sleeping.  It is definitely the most relaxing thing to do.

I don't have a problem waking up early if I have something to do.  Today, I woke up and went to work, where I am now.  My stomach still hurts, but it will pass.  If I try waking up early when I know I have nowhere to go, it won't work.  I guess it's psychological.  My biological clock is backwards or something like that.  I can't fall asleep until, at the earliest, 2am, and I naturally don't wake up until 12pm, or later.  What I really need is a reason to wake up early on a regular basis.  I need a full time job.

It's been suggested to me that I go into high end retail.  My question is, who would hire me without previous retail experience.  Sure I work at the desk.  I sell bathing caps, goggles and master locks and the occasional nose plug.  I don't sell clothes.  What I do sell, are classes.  I have to convince people that they can't live without signing their kids up for gymnastics or swimming.  They need to believe that they really need to take Pilates.  These things may or may not be true.  I do believe that physical fitness is very important for people of all ages, but what I believe is immaterial.  If I can convince someone to register for a class that they were perhaps of the fence about I feel as if I have accomplished something.

I was actually thinking about getting a NYS real estate license.  It might not be good to solely rely on real estate as income in this economy, but in my case, where I'm only working part time anyway, it couldn't hurt.  Once I have my license, I have it.  I always have it.  I could always use it, or not.  Getting the license doesn't cost so much that it's not doable, so I think I should do it.

What do you think?

Not writing much for now, too tired.

I had a good weekend filled with Rich.  There was a lot of Rich, I was very happy about all the Rich.  I made a rotisserie chicken on Saturday and a oven roasted chicken today.  Lots of Rich and chicken.  There were string beans to be had and pasta for me.  Unfortunately, there was a  ice cream bar, and a  ice cream bar and   bar too.  I was a naughty girl.


It was a cold weekend and all through the day and night I wore fleece upon fleece holding myself tight.  I wore shirt over shirt and pants over leggings socks with slippers and a scarf at times too.  I wanted more heat but alas could not find it.  I happily covered myself with a blanket.  To crawl in the oven might have been nice, but wo-es me, it was full of chicken!


Ok, I'm done.  Have a good night!

Hello All....

I'm sorry I haven't written in a few days.  I did warn you though that it was going to be hard for me to maintain the blog everyday.  You wouldn't think it would be so hard, but it is.

I just have not been feeling very creative lately.  I haven't written anything.  I feel very backed up actually.  It's like creative constipation.  I haven't taken any photographs and I haven't written... anything.  My mystery story lies woefully unfinished.  It's starting to depress me actually.  I must have a first draft of my completed story by this time next week!

Moving on...  My wedding dress is here.  Ok, well, it's not here with me.  However, it is at the store.  After I drop off the final payment I can pick it up whenever I want.  I'm not even going to try it on until at least next Friday.  As for picking it up...  I don't have a check for them right now, but aside from that, I'm not thrilled about the dress spending so many months in my little closet.  I somehow didn't factor that into my expectations of weddings dresses and fittings.  I thought there would be multiple fittings, three at least.  Now that I think about it, it makes sense not to keep trying and altering the dress.  That can't be good.  There is a fitting 8-6 weeks before the wedding.  Assuming I don't lose (or gain) any weight after that, it should all be good.  I'm assuming I can always have some sort of last minute alteration if I have to, but frankly, my weight doesn't fluctuate all that much.  I will attempt to lose weight, a little bit, in a few months.  Until then, I think I am happy enough with myself.

Bridesmaids dresses.  I have chosen the colors.  Berry and Eggplant.  I am letting my bridesmaids pick the style of the dress they want, I don't want to torture anyone.  Imposing a color or two is bad enough.  I'm just telling them that they must get the dress from Alfred Angelo so that the colors all match.  I also told them I want them to get their shoes from Nina shoes.  Style- Forbes.  Color- Grape Luster.  They are nice, the heel isn't too high, and they are comfortable.  Also, it seems that Grape in Nina is basically the same color as Eggplant in Alfred Angelo, always nice.

Now if I can just find a time when we can all meet and look at dresses together....

It's about 2pm on Sunday.  I am bored.  I'm not only bored but somehow... drained.  I feel like I've been drained of all my creative energy.  I can't concentrate on anything long enough to do it.  I cleaned, or neatened, my room yesterday, so I don't have to do that.  I should be working on my story and looking for a job also.

I'm not sure I even have enough concentration to finish this blog entry.

One bird flew into a nest
Two birds sat on baby blue eggs
Three birds chirped hungrily, mouths open
Four birds flew south for the winter

One human went hunting
All the birds are dead.

Not sure where that came from.  A little birdie told me?

I bought wedding invitations today.  I got them at Staples.  I know what you're thinking.  Really, they aren't that bad.  They had some nice ones at Michael's, but...  I would have ended up paying just as much for them there as I would have if I was going to hire someone to make them for me.

I plan to do this myself, with the help of some very helpful bridesmaids, whether they know it or not.  They'll know soon enough.  They are very plain, but I will spruce them up.  They are ivory, with a gold rim.  They go well with Westbury Manor decor.  They come with a ivory ribbon, but i might buy something more colorful.  I'm planning the writing to be purple and I think we'll stamp something wedding-ish on there also.

It should look ok.  They were cheap enough that if I find something better I may get something else.  I'm actually pretty excited about them though.  This is starting to be real.

Thursday was a very interesting day.  My boss texted me late Wednesday night and asked if I could possibly come into work Thursday at 9:30am rather than 2:00pm.  That would mean that I would be teaching from 9:30 to 6:00.  I said sure.  The she said she wasn't positive if I was going to need to come in. I said that I just needed to know before 8am on Thursday so that I would have time to get there.

Flash forward to Friday at 7:50am, I am not needed until my normal time.  Ugh.  So now I am having trouble falling back asleep.  Woo!  I got to work and found out that something bad had happened in the neighborhood, to a friend and co-worker the night before.  She was attacked going home.  I'm not going to get into it, but look, this is supposed to be a safe neighborhood!  It's also been happening in my fiance's area, and his is also supposed to be a safe area.  I know it's cliche, but what's the world coming to?!?!

Anyway, I taught my classes, nothing too exciting there.  I stayed at the office until almost 7:00, an hour after I finish, because I was waiting for my fiance.  We were going to have dinner together because we're not seeing each other this weekend.  He and his father went to Gettysburg, Pa.  They'll be back on Monday.  So, Rich and I had dinner at Manor Oktoberfest.  It's a German restaurant/ bar.  If you like that type of thing it's pretty good.  Unfortunately, it's not my favorite thing.  It wasn't bad.  I was freezing the entire time.  I'm not sure if that's because it was really cold in there, or because I'm just a cold person.  Either way, I had to huddle next to Rich just to keep my teeth from chattering.

We got back to my house and... nothing.  We were trying to watch a horrible movie.  Cop Out.  Bruce Willis and Tracey Morgan.  I do not recommend (it wasn't my idea to begin with, shhhh, don't tell Rich).    Rich fell asleep in the middle, which is ok, because I wanted to change the channel, hehe.  I ended up flipping channels until he woke up.  Then we talked until he had to go home.  He said he was sooo tired.  Apparently, Rich was so tired that when he got home he did work.  He stayed up until 5:40am working on his research.  5:40 AM!  At which point he texted me.  So, I was woken up again.  I think I would have rather he called me.  Less jarring maybe.  I don't know.  I know I shouldn't be angry at him for staying up so late, or early, but he was driving to PA today!  I mean, sheesh!

I had work today, so I had to be up at 8am anyway.  I never really fell back asleep after the texting.  So, I've been up since about 6am.  I know that isn't crazy early, I understand that.  However, since I do not wake up early unless I have to... that is early for me.  I went to work.  Co-taught 3 classes.  Then I went home.  I was supposed to meet up with a friend, but he had to cancel.  I was so tired that it worked out.  I would have fallen asleep.

I just came home and made lunch.  Then I really did fall asleep.  Very exciting, I know.  I had shabbat dinner with my mother and step father.  It was fine.  Same as usual.  Salmon.

I'm tired again, so I'm going to go lie down.

You know the by who cried wolf?  Well today was the weatherman who cried storm.  Yes, it did snow.  It snowed a few inches.  It was annoying.  People had to shovel, people had to dig around their cars, plows were called out, salt was put down.  There was not over a foot of snow, schools were not closed.  We were expecting this to be a lot worse.  It was however quite cold.  I was cold.  I was wearing a tank top, a long sleeved shirt, a heavy sweatshirt, jeans, tights under my jeans, waterproof snow boots, lined leather gloves, and a ski jacket along with two hoods on my head.  Did I mention I was cold?  I think it had more to do with the wind than the actual temperature.

When there is a cold wind, any wind really, I tear.  I tear a lot.  I look like I'm hysterical.  My face gets so cold from the constant tears and there is nothing I can do about it.

Did I mention that I was in the city for the second day in the row?  I don't like the city, it's crowded, dirty, and you have to do a lot of walking.  I normally do a lot of walking, maybe it just feels like more when you're walking down straight block after block rather than turning and walking through slightly rural areas. I don't mind the walking, I don't.  My legs hurt!  I overstretched on Monday and walked around all day in the city yesterday and today.  I AM TIRED!!!

I met my friend D....... in Union Square today.  We were on the hunt for various makeup things.  We went in and out of many a Duane Reade and CVS.  I don't mind.  I found some stuff 75% off.  That's always fun.

I am just very tired and do not have the energy to write more today.  I need a project to keep myself occupied.  I am writing a story, maybe I should attempt to write about two pages a day, if not more, everyday and post it.  My story is about my cat.  It's a detective story in which the main character is a feline, and a private dick.  It is his job to solve the mystery of the stolen statue and the missing neighbor.  I need to start working on it again.....

I made my first trip to Roosevelt Island today.  Don't worry, it's not a tropical paradise.  Nothing you can reach by subway could ever be a tropical paradise.  It's like Sim City come to reality.  It is so, planned.  I don't know how to describe it.  The whole town gave me a surreal feeling.  There were almost no people to speak of.  There was this one older guy that was following us, not in a completely creepy way, just annoying.  "Are you looking for me?"  Dude, nobody is looking for you.

The architecture there was interesting.  The whole area gave the impression of grayness even though there were bright colors everywhere.  RED, YELLOW, ORANGE.  It was such an odd town.  Considering it is so close to Manhattan (one stop away on the F train) I was expecting for it to be more... city like.  Instead is reminded me of a cross between Boston, if it were a ghost town, and some towns in Connecticut.  There were huge apartment buildings all interconnected on the outside, with courtyard type things.  It's very hard to describe.  There were heads of decorative cabbage all over the damn place.  I really hate that stuff.  It's just a useless vegetable that someone once decided was pretty.  Sure it can stand up to the cold weather, but who wants to look at it!

I saw my first black squirrels since Jr. High School, over ten years ago.  I really love squirrels.  I know most people don't like rodents, but they are just so darn cute.  I took pictures of them eating french fries.  Even the American squirrels love McDonald's.

J...... and I left Roosevelt Island by tram.  It was my first time on that particular tram.  I think I was on one once in California six or seven years ago.  They are pretty cool.  Travel above everything, see the world from a different perspective.

After we got off the tram, we went to get some lunch and then walked to Bloomingdales.  I'm looking for table linens for the wedding.  I was just curious how much they would cost.  Let's just say that I will not be buying linens from Bloomingdales anytime soon.  I have no interest in spending real money on something that I would almost never use.  Have you noticed that in the everyday world people almost never use tablecloths anymore?  If you sit down to a fancy dinner, one might show up.  If you go to a very expensive restaurant you will almost definitely find one.  Other than that... they're gone.

We ended up sitting in Bloomingdales for a long time, on a nice couch and on one of the famed Eames chairs.  I love those things.  We eventually headed back to Queens and parted ways.  It was a good day, just exhausting.  My legs hurt.  I over stretched yesterday and did a lot of walking today.  We really liked a pair of earrings that would look very nice for the wedding, for the bridesmaids.  They didn't have enough of them though.  Too bad.  Whatcha think?

Now I'm sitting here waiting for the snow to hit.  Combining today and tomorrow we are supposed to get about a foot (more) of snow.  Frankly, I don't really think I have the patience to be snowed in again.  I like being able to open my door in the morning, I'm funny like that.  Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes.  I'm sure there will be pictures involved.

The continuing saga of the wedding...

The centerpieces...  This is what I received from one of the florists I talked to:

"These fifteen (15) table displays will be a combination of florals, water, & candle light, illuminating your venue creating a beautiful romantic atmosphere.  Each table will have four (3) clear glass cylinders with clear crystals lining the bottom of each cylinder.  I will use cylinders in staggered heights of 24inches, 18inches, and 12 inches.  Inside of each cylinder will be a floral display of Two-toned Purple & White Dendrobian orchids.  All of these cylinders will be filled with water submerging all flowers.  We will then place a floating candle in each of these cylinders.  At the base of each arrangement, I will place three (3) small 4 inch cylinder vases at the base of each large cylinder.  These smaller cylinder vases will also be lined with clear crystals, filled with water, & have a floating candle in each one. We will then scatter Dendrobian Orchid heads & Purple rose petals around this display completing your tables design."

I've also got to worry about the bouquets for me and the bridesmaids.  There are ideas floating around.

This is my ideal color scheme.  I just love the way these colors look together.  I think the idea is sophisticated and not boring.  It's not your traditional ivory and red.  I love those colors too, I just think they've been over done.  Also, since my wedding is in August I wanted something more... colorful.  Don't get me wrong, there will be ivory hanging around in places and there will be a touch of gold here and there.  There will be more blue than chartreuse, just because I think that hints of chartreuse are more flattering than too much of the color.  The bridesmaids will be wearing purple dresses in the style of their choosing.  I don't think I can make everybody wear the same exact dress, it just won't work for their different body shapes.  I need to get them all to come with me so I can see how the different dresses will look on their bodies.  My cousin needs to get her dress rather soon because she needs to have it altered, no matter which dress she gets.  She's orthodox, so she needs her collar bone, her elbows, and her knees to be covered.  The other bridesmaids are not going to have the same restrictions.

******

Since I have nothing else to say about my wedding at the moment I will venture to speak about my day instead.  I went to work today.  It doesn't seem like a major feet, I am aware.  I haven't been working steadily for three weeks because the fall session ended before Christmas and the winter session just started this past Sunday.  I worked a little bit in between, but like I said, it wasn't steady.  Not that my work schedule is too steady to begin with.  I only work on Monday, Thursday, Friday, and sometimes Sunday.

I need more work.  I would like to be a writer, a published writer.  In lieu of that I have been looking into publishing/editing.  I graduated from Queens College in 2010 (finally!) with a B.A. in English.  If I go for a M.A., I think it will be in children's literature.  I don't have any very lucrative job ambitions, do I?  Eventually, I would love to own a cafe, but I see that as more of a goal for later life.  If I could just find a full time job now, doing something that involves writing on some level I would be thrilled.

Anyway... My day.  I taught one nursery gym class in the afternoon.  The kids really aren't bad.  Most of them are sweet.  Usually, when you hear about a teacher not liking his or her job, it's not because of the kids, it's because of the system, the administration or the constant testing that has to be done.  I used to want to go into education, teach in a high school, try to help the masses learn how to analyze literature and learn correct grammar through creative writing.  I think it's a good idea and something that is greatly lacking in most high schools.  If children don't read, and they don't write, how exactly are they supposed to learn how to put a sentence together?  How are they supposed to get jobs later in life?  It's just something that bothers me.  Since I can't stand what Bloomberg is doing to our school system, I refuse to be part of it.  Maybe if I move to another state I would go into teaching, but not in NYC.

What I was trying to say about my nursery class, is that it is not the students which bother me.  The head teacher for the class really gets under my skin.  She thinks she is right about everything all the time!  It drives me crazy, especially because she has a tendency to be wrong.  If I am showing the kids how to do something, a new stretch, how to dribble, how to do a forward roll, she takes over.  If I'm showing them how to do something one way, she sneaks up behind me, startles me, and shows them how to do the same thing the wrong way.  She is the ultimate control freak, and trust me, I've met my fair share of control freaks.  Her taking over my class on a semi regular basis is bad enough, but her perfume just makes it that much more torturous.  She wears so much of it!  It's cloying.  It snakes its way up your nose, grabs hold of the hairs in there and pulls, making you sneeze.  It's truly disgusting.

My later two classes which I co-teach with two other people were fine.  Nothing overly stimulating there.  Stretching, flipping, jumping, twirling... it's a gymnastics class.  There is one student who drives me up the wall, M.  She is overactive to say the least and she takes pride in being annoying.  I must say she does annoying very well.  The animal noises, the screaming, the jumping up in your face, it's all just lovely, really.  She and her sister also fart every time they do a flip.  I'm not sure what causes this, but it must be something in their diet.  It's just not something one can ever get used to.  I mean, I have to touch these people, and my face is very often close by to their lower half, especially if they are upside down.  I understand farting is something that cannot be controlled.  I do not blame the children, I just wish I wasn't always the one to receive the farts.  Oh well.

My father picked me up from work, we went to buy cat food, for the cat.  We ended up eating at Mike's Pizzeria for dinner.  I got spaghetti and meatballs.  What can I say, I guess I'm a kid at heart.  It was a good way to end the day.

Now, I am watching Star Trek: First Contact.  After an in depth discussion about Star Trek with my father I was thrilled to find Star Trek on T.V.

Have a good night cyber people, I must return to my geeky ways.

It seems I have managed not to post anything since 2008. That was wrong of me, I apologize. I would love to post everyday and tell you all that I do plan to post everyday, but somehow I don't see myself keeping that promise. Don't give up hope though, it might happen...

Since 2008 I've gotten engaged to Rich, by boyfriend from previous posts. We're getting married this year (THIS YEAR!), in August. The date is coming up fast and there is a lot to do. I've picked the dress, bought the dress, now I'm waiting for the dress. First fitting, WOO!!! You'd think I would be trying to lose weight. I'm not working on that too well yet. It's not like I'm gaining weight, I would like to lose about 15lbs, just fot the occasion. I also need to strengthen my back, get more definition and lose general flab. So far to accomplish all this I've drunk a case of coke over the last two weeks. That doesn't mean that when I'm not home I don't drink coke by the way. I am also eating m&m's. Not the healthiest diet ever. My goal until August is to drastically cut the amount of soda I take in. I'm not going to buy it for the house anymore and I'm going to order seltzer when I go to restaurants as much as I can stand. I'm still going to have an occasional coke, maybe with Chinese food or pizza. For some reason when I eat those two foods I need a coke, NEED, a coke. It cuts the grease I guess. Let's just face it, Coke makes the world go 'round.

I've gotten my dress. Done. Check.

I've picked and booked the venue (Westbury Manor). Done. Check.

I've... That's it. I am still in need of a photographer/videographer, florist, and D.J. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I haven't been looking. I think I've found the D.J. that I want, Bravura Entertainment (http://www.bravuraentertainment.com/main.html). They are really nice and frankly, I just like them. I've seen/met with five different photographers and spoken to many more. The problem is that, as I'm sure you know, photography is the second most expensive thing for your wedding. I don't want to pay that much for a service I am not thrilled with. I have taken photography classes, I know what a good picture is, and I know what style I like. I don't want everything to be posed. I want some spontaneity in the photographs. Sometimes the best pictures aren't planned and I'd like the photographer I choose to believe that as much as I do. I'm not saying that I don't want some posed pictures for my wedding. I want all the traditional stuff, I just would like a more photojournalistic approach. They all tell me they can do this, then they show me their albums. Posed, posed, posed, posed, and posed. I think the best deal I'm going to get is from The Wedding Box in Flushing. They offer a package that includes every service you could want. You can rent your bridal gown from them, the guys can rent their tuxes, 8 hour limo service, make up and hair for the bride and the bridal party, oh, and of course the photography and videography. I actually really like their videography, the photography is ok, it's better than some of the photographers I've seen. It's not exactly what I want, but I'm starting to think what I want doesn't really exist. I don't want to take part of all their services, but I wouldn't mind getting a trial for the hair and make up.

As far as the florist goes... I am not especially into flowers, but I'd still like a nice arrangement. My colors are: chartreuse, a darkish purple (not completely sure on the shade yet), and royal blue. My flowers will reflect that. I like the look of submergeable flowers, orchids for the most part.




I'll talk more about my arrangement later. It's actually time for me to go to bed. I've forgotten how much I enjoy writing in my blog. I'll be sure to keep it up.

To feel as if life is worth living we must have a few key items. We must have our health, a roof over our heads, enough food in our stomachs, and love. For some people this might not be enough. Some of us cannot survive without ambition, and drive, and success. Personally, I think think these things come second.

I have an aunt that says that for a woman marriage is the most important thing in the world, that no woman can be happy without a man. I think this is ridiculous. Marriage is important, to both sexes, but it is not the end all and be all to life. Love and marriage are not even synonymous with each other. Two people can happily be together for years without any further commitment from one another. I firmly believe this, as long as the two people do strongly love each other. If that love isn't there, then they shouldn't bother with the commitment to begin with. The only reason people need that endorsement of their love, is because they do not trust each other. Not that I blame them. Trust has to be earned, it should not be freely given. We all do little things in out daily lives that make others question our behavior. We are innately curious creatures, prone to asking each other, "why?" when we should instead leave well enough alone.

It's amazing actually that there are people out there that manage to stay in long term relationships whether it's with a friend, a parent, or a beau (boo for you modernists). We are taught at such a young age that we cannot trust, how do we, or some of us anyway, overcome this?

I think I somehow missed my point. What makes life worth living? I guess it's something different for everyone. So what makes me happy? I enjoy security and stability in my life. Surprises make me nervous, depending of course on the level of the surprise. I do not enjoy change all that much, in fact, mostly, I downright hate it. I like spending time with my friends, and my boyfriend, even though as far as I am concerned this does not happen often enough. I enjoy planning my future. I picture myself with my loved ones in my apartment sitting on the Lancaster couch from Restoration Hardware (I love that damn couch!). I enjoy writing, and making up stupid meaningless little stories. I do enjoy my time spent alone as well, really. I find thinking fun. I actually think one of my greatest joys in life comes from planning. Planning parties, planning for the far future, the near future, meals to cook. If I can plan for it, I'll try to do it. I like the planning more than the events themselves. Spontaneity is good too, up to a point. When I cannot guess what's going to happen in the future, I get nervous. I never know what's going to happen for sure, none of us do. Sometimes though we can have an idea. When the idea suddenly is changed on us though... I find it disconcerting.

Am I happy? I have my health (as far as I know), I have a roof over my head, I have enough to eat, and at least I think I have love. My life should be worth living. I do not want to give it up, but no, at the moment I am not happy. I am confused. I feel hurt and somewhat betrayed. I'm angry. I am not always right, but I am not always wrong either. I do not have a degree in psychology, I don't even have a degree in English yet, but I am not an idiot. There are some things in life that we cannot control, sometimes, most of the time, our happiness is among them. What we can control, we should hang on to though. We will not always be happy in our lives, and sometimes we have to make a big change in order to achieve that happiness, but most of the time we have to muddle through and find happiness in another area of our lives.

That's life. Why can't people accept that?

So I haven't blogged in a while. There's a shock, right? Haha! Nothing new much been going on. I'm still going to work and school. At the moment I'm in the process of getting sick. I haven't gotten the flu yet this year, when everybody around me has, maybe it's about time.

Anyway, since my last post, nothing bad happened. No life or death decisions to make. Choices are a high and mighty thing to speculate about when you don't actually have any to make, but when faced with an actual important decision... you might just find that you'll surprise yourself.

So this past Sunday were a couple of crazy birthday parties. The kids were pretty good, I was just lacking in staff. Nobody likes to go in the water. Honestly, I don't blame them. This little fact just makes my life a little more difficult. It worked out all right though in the end. We got to keep half an ice cream cake and three pizzas. Always a good thing. Unfortunately, I didn't get to eat any of it. I'm not sure where the pizzas went, but the cake ended up of the floor. Yes, someone knocked it on the floor. Whatever.

So, I mentioned I'm still in school. I've been wondering when I'm going to be finished already. I'm a junior, so you'd automatically assume that I'd be done in about a year, right? Wrong. I'm have about 70 credits, I need 120. Since I finished almost all of my liberal arts requirements, I just need to concentrate on my major. I'm an English major. Since I can't take four or five English classes at one time without going crazy, I'm planning on being there forever. Not to mention I'm probably going to go for my masters afterwards... So yeah, I plan to be in school for the next ten years. Now that might be an over exaggeration, but it'll be something like that.

So, does anybody have any ideas for me?

What does one do when they have a problem and cannot possibly make a good decision? There sometimes are the right decisions and sometimes there really aren't any. People do the best they can with the circumstances they are given. Do they always handle themselves with grace and dignity along the way? No. As long as they make it to the end of the day, whether their heads are held high or not... it's all the matters.

There is nothing easy in life. Try to stay young and carefree as long as you can.

Ok, I've got nothing to say. I'm just proud of myself for remembering my password. I have so many passwords for so many different things, that I tend to have to go through a bunch before I hit the right one for the program I am trying to use.

Anyway, I had a very long day. Last night I did not try to even go to sleep until about 5:30am. I woke up at 9:00am and left the house at 9:15. Ain't I fast? Anyway, I went to work. Dealing with five year old kids early in the morning is just too much. Crying, screaming brats. Don't get the idea that I don't like kids, I do, but thirty kids all yealling in the morning is... a bit too much to deal with. At the end of the party, which by the way lasted an extra forty five minutes, they gave out goody bags. You're thinking this is a good thing. But no. It depends what is in these goody bags. In these, there were the worst possible thing to give to kids. WHISTLES! Can you believe it!? They walk up behind you, whistle in your ear, and run away laughing. It's just... GREAT!

So I left forty five minutes late, with a pounding headache. I was picked up by my stepfather and stepbrother along with my mother. We all were going to the American Museum on Natural History. I don't know about you, but there are certain exhibits there I find very depressing. People went hunting at some point, shot some animals, brought them back to America, and had people stuff them, to make them look alive again. I personally am an animal lover, and find this very hard to take. It depressed me greatly. I was also totally exhausted, and starving. We had these citi passes that were supposed to get us into all the shows. However, all but two were sold out. We chose to see the Planetarium show. I was so tired that as soon as the voice came over the loud speaker (Robert Redford), I fell asleep. I actually did want to see the show. Did I mention that I hadn't eaten all day.

After walking around the museum for a few hours we were all about to pass out. We finally ate dinner. It was ehh. We then went back to FH and then to Starbucks.

Anyway now I'm home and still quite exhausted..... going away now...

So my two year anniversary with my boyfriend is coming up on Sunday. I think that's a pretty long time. It is for me anyway, and him also. We love each other very much. I'm a pretty cynical person, so that's a big deal for me. We're recreating our first date on Sunday. We tried doing that last year, but somehow it didn't work. We went to the city with a friend to see an art exhibit, and then to Jekyll and Hyde's. It's an... interesting restaurant. By the time we got back to my house it was rather late and we weren't hungry. We didn't even start thinking about food until at least 9pm. To make a long story short the restaurant was closed by the time we got there. We ended up eating at another nice restaurant, but it just wasn't the same. I ended up crying at the table. I don't even know why, exactly, it just was not what it was supposed to be. This year I'm actually thinking about making reservations. I don't usually bother doing that, but it might give us the incentive to get there somehow. Hehe. We'll get all dressed up, have a night on the town, so to speak. The problem with our anniversary is its proximity to Valentines Day.

First of all I must start by saying that I think VD is a bunch of bull shit. I think it's a meaningless Hallmark holiday. That being said, I do actually want to see my boyfriend on that day. I don't really expect him to get me anything, except maybe a rose, but I want to see him. Problem is, he has class that night, so unless I hang around campus for an extra hour or so, I'm not gonna see him, unless... all you bloggers out there convince him to come see me after class :- P

Anyway, I'm going to sleep. Later people of blog land.

Ok, so I know I haven't posted in... well, almost 3 months. I've been really busy with school. Actually, I think I've gotten over the blogging thing. At least perhaps until I have something interesting to say. Maybe I should delete my blog, it's not like anybody reads it. *shrug*

I don't like deleting things, it's a neurosis I guess. Things that I start, that are mine, I'm very protective over. If I make something, I don't like giving it away, or destroying it. You might be asking, what can this possibly correspond to except this blog. Well, you'd be surprised.

Firstly, there's term paper's. You know those websites that sell term paper's? Well, I run one... Ok, I don't. But it was a fun thought. Anyway, this hasn't come up in a while. Maybe I've mosty gotten over it, or perhaps, I just haven't created anything in a while. The last time I remember this happening is... maybe 13 years ago. I gave my mother's ex boyfriend an old doll of mine... I was miserable until he gave it back. Actually, that took a lot of convincing on the boyfriend's part, he was kind of a baby. My mother had to yell at him to get him to give it back.

Anyway, my point is that, I don't think I could give up my blog so easily. Maybe I'll even start writing in this thing again...

OK, I know I haven't posted in a while. This blog started out as a way for me to keep up my writing skills... Not sure how much it's helped actually. I haven't written in a while, nothing really exciting going on with me. Started school. Fun, fun, fun. What more is there to say?

I'm actually sitting here waiting for Rich to call. I'm tired, not even sure from what. I have school tomorrow, I'm acutally contemplating not going. Nothing major is going on, but if I miss a math class, I probably won't be able to keep up anymore. I'll probably go, late maybe. I don't want to go to my first class. I actually enjoy it, but we had to do this really stupid assignment, which I didn't do as of yet. I'll probably do it before I go to sleep. I'm rambling.

So, L___ is in town. She's been here for about a month actually, she's leaving this coming Tuesday. We didn't do anything major, really we didn't do anything much at all. She's going to a concert with D___ on Friday night. She doesn't seem to remember that she was invited to my house for dinner. Just as well, I'm not in the mood to entertain people, I'd rather be entertained. I have tickets to a comedy club. Rich and I might go Saturday, we'll see. He's probably going to some sort of meeting in the morning, so why would he want to go back to the city a few hours later. Maybe the following weekend.

I have no idea what I'm saying anymore, my brain is mush. I'm so out of it. Also, I'm quite thirsty. Maybe I should go upstairs and fill up my water bottle, hmm... Such a dilemma, to stay put, or to go upstairs, that is the question.

Blah, blah, blah. Someone tell me something interesting.

I haven't written in my blog in about two months. I'm not sure why exactly. I guess I haven't had that much to say. I've just been working for the summer. same place different job. I haven't worked the Sports Clinic in about five years. Actually, as far as enjoying my job goes, I prefer the art department during the summer. It's air conditioned and I don't have to yell all the time. The gym is fun though. I get to hang out with my friends (just not the same ones I'd be with if I were in the art department), I get to play games with the kids, and I even get to go swimming with them! Wait. That's all the stuff I don't like about my job. It's more work, it's harder, and there's more responsibility, sort of. I don't mind any of that, I would just like to relax once in a while during the summer.

I was supposed to go away with Rich this past week. We had planned to go to Pennsylvania. To visit the Amish country and then to take a little excursion to Hershey Park. I've never been to either of those places. Well, we didn't get to go. I got sick at the wrong time. I thought it was just my period, but it turned out to br a stomach virus or a flu of some sort. I always get sick at least once a summer, but did it really have to happen now? Anyway, so we didn't go away. There really is no other time to go, so I'm stuck here for the remainder of the summer. Maybe when Liat comes to visit, I'll go away with her. The time for Rich and me is over.

So, for the past week, I've been sitting around, not doing much of anything except throwing up. Until Thursday night anyway. Thursday I went out with all my co-workers to dinner at TGI Friday's. We had fun, then separated. I ended up going to get ice cream with three of them after dinner. It was fun, a good first night back out in the world. Yesterday, I could've gone to work, but chose not to. I just went in eventually to pick up my paycheck. I ended up leaving the Y with D_______. We walked her daughter home and then she and I went to Marshall's and Target. I've never been to Marshall's. I like it! Lol. I got a bag. My second bag of the summer. This one however only cost about $25.00. The other one cost $135.00, on sale. So, I think I did pretty well there lol. OK, at Target D_______ was trying to find party favors for her daughter's birthday party on Sunday. So, I helped her. Since I love that stuff, and school supplies also, I had a good time. The only problem was that the shoes I was wearing, were really starting to hurt. So I ended u buying a pair of flip flops for $2.99. I think that was a pretty good buy. They're very comfortable.

After the shopping, D_______ and I went our separate ways. She went home, and I went to my dad's house to hang out with my little Daniel cat. My father didn't get home from upstate until after 12:00am. Danny was alone all day, so he was happy to see me. I got a slice of pizza and ate it, then I vegged out for an hour or so until my boyfriend called. We've been fighting a lot lately, so we were talking very carefully on the phone.

Anyway, my father got home eventually, then took me home.

The only other news I have to report is that my grandmother was taken to the hospital yesterday. She has pneumonia and can't breathe on her own. She's been intubated. For those of you who don't know what that means... They put a tube down her throat to help her breathe. We don't know if they will ever be able to take the tube out. She's 99 with dementia. I wish they would just let her go, stop making her suffer. *Sigh*.

I'm a horrible person. I was walking around this afternoon. I seem to be in the midst of a allergy attack. It's a little odd since I don't usually have allergies at all. Anyway, I was carrying some bags because as I walking around I bought some food. I was walking home, when these two people came running out of their house carrying what looked to be an unconscious child. He was blue in the face. There was another person standing there, a passerby, she was calling 911.

I just walked away. I don't know the etiquette for these things. I mean, there was nothing I could do, I don't know CPR and 911 was already being called. I still feel like I did something morally wrong by just walking away. What could I have done? I have no idea. Was I supposed to try to offer support to hyspterical people I don't know?

What I do know is that I will never get the image of the suffocating child out my head. It was the singularly most disturbing thing I have wittnesed in my life.

I'm disgusting.

Ok, back to the old mac. I'm not sure what I was so excited about last time. I mean, sure it's nice to be able to change my colors and what not, but really, who cares. This is a blog. This is not myspace, or facebook, or whatever else is centered more on graphics. This blog, as I have birthed it, has been about writing. I can post whatever I want in terms of writing with this lovely computer, hereby known as mac (I am aware of the un-originality of this just so you know, but I like it). So mac and I are back again writing for... Ok, I haven't yet figured that out yet. For fun I guess, because I like writing. I'll just leave it at that.

So, since last I wrote I went to the beach. I played miniature with Rich, he won of course. He always wins. I'm not sure i've ever won at anything actually. I don't just mean games with Rich, just in general. I mean I've won awards at school, but I guess I mean game wise. Anyway, I'm rambling. So, we went to the beach, played mini golf, lay on the beach for a while and then... I'm trying to remember what we did and also when we did it. I know we had dinner at Rich's house two nights, and I made dinner one night. I don't think we went out at all that weekend, not for dinner anyway. We went to Oasis cafe I think on the same night we went to the beach. I know I made lemon chicken (very good by the way) on Monday evening. We ate Rich's house on Sunday night, that was steak night. It was very very good. I think I'm officially done with that weekend. I'll talk to Rich, maybe he can clear up my memory lol.

Anyway, the following weekend, or this past one if that's what you'd like to call it, Rich went back to Gettysburg PA to build some fences on the battle field. I'm not sure I get it exactly, you're just gonna have to ask Rich about that. Anyway, Friday night I ate at home with my mom and Harold. I just fell asleep watching TV eventually. Saturday, I sat around not doing much of anything until the afternoon. Then I went to Austin St. and tried to do some chores (stupid Verizon stores). I ended up getting picked up by my mom, and we went shopping. Sunday, a cousin of mine, of some degree, had a birthday party. It was her 95th. So my mom, Harold, my cousin Bernard and his mom all went together. The shopping my mom and I had done was for this birthday party. I mean surrounded my relatives you haven't seen in years and years, you gotta look good, no? So, that lasted longer than we thought it would. We didn't get home until maybe 6:30. I couldn't really eat anything at the party, not my kind of food. So, when we got home I made a multi cheese baked ziti. I had half and my mother ate the other half. I finally just fell asleep.

Monday was pretty much normal. Rich came home that day. I didn't see him though, he was too tired and achy (no more fences!). Later in the day I went to work. Apparently, there was a half day for students, so there were only three students per class. Tuesday, was just Tuesday. I didn't do much of anything. Wednesday was going pretty much the same as Tuesday... until the mail came.

I got into Queens College!!! After sharing my news with everyone I could think of via phone, or text message, I walked to my father's house. I ended up spending the day completely alone. My father didn't get home until about 11:30pm. He just took me home when he got back. So that was my Tuesday. Wednesday I spent a lot of time on the phone with Rich. I was in a lot of pain, still am kinda. I have my period. Anyway, I walked to my dad's house, we had dinner (pizza), and then Rich came over. We hung around my dad's house for a while then he took me to a cafe. After that he had to go home. He's working today, so he had to wake up early.

Today, I woke up late since I couldn't fall asleep last night. Then my dad picked me up and we went food shopping. He's going away for the next few days, so I'm house and cat sitting. I'm not working today because it's Brooklyn/Queens Day. Please don't ask me to explain that, I can't. So, all it means to me, is that I don't have work today and that all the schools in Brooklyn/Queens are closed to students today as well. Later I might see an old friend, might not. Who knows? I might see Rich, might not. I will probably just go to sleep and curl up with my cat.

So, that's been my life for the past week-ish. I will continue to keep you updated, because I know you all care so much.