I don't have time for a real post right now, but I just wanted you to know, dear blog, that I haven't forgotten about you.  I haven't had time to post nor anything to really say that would not constitute complaining.  My life is my life, it is as it is.

Life goes on.  I'll post something real later.

I haven't blogged since last week.  I know, I'm bad.

The florist that we saw last Saturday was great!  Her name, ironically enough, is Rose.  She is a year younger than me and is so incredibly knowledgeable about flowers it's amazing.  I think we have found our florist.

We also saw a business called the Wedding Box.  They are a one stop wedding machine.  They do everything there!  We want photography and videography from them.  The pictures are in the style that I want.  The problem is that we would be getting one photographer for the engagement shoot and a different one for the wedding.  We also don't meet the person, or people until the day of the shoot and wedding.  We see a book of their work beforehand, but that's it.  What is our personalities clash?  What if they don't understand what we want?  What if their English sucks?  I'm not thrilled about that.  It's not a deal breaker exactly, but we'll see what happens.

I met with another photographer whom I actually like better.  He also works in the photojournalistic style, which is good.  He puts a book together rather than an album, a real bound book with pictures printed on the page rather than mounted.  He tries to tell the story of the wedding with his pictures and I think that's a good way to go about it.  I have obviously already met him and he would be the primary photographer.  There might be a secondary one as well, but that's up to us.  The problem with him, is that he doesn't do albums himself, or videography.  Personally, I'm not thrilled with albums.  I think they are outdated and unnecessary.  I think that my mother and Rich's mother might want one though.  As far as videography goes... I want it so that I have a record of the ceremony... as far as the rest...  I would like to have it, but, I think the photography is more important.  How often would a couple look at their video?  On an anniversary or something?  Maybe?  If we used this photographer there's no reason that we couldn't still use Wedding Box for video... right?

We also have to figure out where everyone is going to get ready for the wedding.  My house?  Westbury Manor?  Most likely, the hair and makeup and nails will be in Forest Hills in the place I normally get my hair done.  I don't see why we couldn't put our dresses on and do last minute primping at Westbury Manor.  We just need to be able to get there somehow...  That's where the probable limo comes in...  We'll see what happens.

I have no more wedding news!  I need to collect my address next week and mail out the save the dates by the end of next week or we will have no guests!  My how times flies!

Yesterday was a long day.  I was working at the desk again, but I was also teaching gym classes.  I was exhausted before my classes even began.  My first class, of three year old's was insane.  They ran around like maniacs.  I think everyone is so cooped up because of the weather that they are stir crazy.  Normally, for gymnastics class on Thursday there is me plus an assistant.  Yesterday, there was me and 3 other people.  Keep in mind there are only about six kids in this class.  They were truly crazy yesterday.

The second class was a little bit better.  It started with three kids and doubled in size by the end.  The problem with that is that all the kids are on different levels and they are coming in at different times.  So, the class becomes a little disorganized every time someone new comes into the room, it's fun.

I bought myself kraft microwaveable mac and cheese and ate that for dinner.  It was alright.  I prefer the stove top version, but I had another microwave one today for lunch.  At least it's convenient.

Today's Montessori classes were fun.  We were teaching (I was learning) how to juggle and I was teaching plate spinning.  Who knew gym class could be fun without large balls flying at your face?  MEEEE!!!

Tomorrow Rich, his parents, and I have an appointment with a florist and a photography package place.  This place has a package that includes EVERYTHING!  We'll see what they can do.  Hopefully, we will book at least one of them.  I'll let you know how it goes.

My day was very long and tomorrow will be just as long, actually an hour longer.  I don't mind since I'm getting paid for my work.  I do mind that my back is killing me, oh well.

My father picked me up from work today and we went to Costco.  I have a love/hate relationship with that place.  It is useful.  It has its moments, but the food.  Holy shit!  You can't get a normal size of anything!  I know this isn't exactly a new revelation.  I kno this is something... knowns.  But I saw a container of cottage cheese bigger than my head!  I guess Costco is good if you have a family, a possibly growing family, then it pays to buy in bulk.  For just two people, unless your house, your pantry, and your freezer are huge, it's just not worth it.  There won't be anywhere to put your 25 rolls of toilet paper, or your side of cow.

I do like Costco though.  It's a fun place to be for a little while, not for too long, you might start wanting to kill yourself.  Today, I went with my dad.  He bought be a printer for Chanukah!  I am very appreciative and very happy!  My old printer crapped out maybe.... six months ago.  Since I'm not in school, it wasn't that huge of a deal, but I do need to print something every now and then, especially since I'm into photography.  My mother has been using a Dell printer since she broke her HP.  Unfortunately, my mac OS doesn't work with the Dell printer.  There seem to be no plug-ins available.  Grr.  Every time I want to print something I have to email it to myself and print it from my old Dell laptop.  Not the most convenient thing to do.

So, I have a new HP Photosmart Plus e-ALL-IN-ONE B120 series.  So far, except for temperamental wifi connection it's great!  I am very happy.  Thank you Dad.

I have a few plans for the future.  I plan to find another part time job, possibly doing retail, possibly real estate, along with my current job.  I need to find something.

Is anyone else realizing how bleak our generation's future is?  We graduate from college in the middle of a depression, health care is getting an overhaul, there will be no social security by the time we are eligible for it...  It's a great time to be alive, no?  Not that I'm depressed about the current job market.  Not yet.  I will be depressed about it in September after I'm married and am still living at home.  How many people get married and then resume their lives exactly as they were before?

I'm being pessimistic.  I should rally.  I will find a job.  I WILL find a job.  I WILL FIND a job.  I WILL FIND A job.  I WILL FIND A JOB!!!!  Not that I don't have a perfectly god one at the moment, just.... I need more hours.  I can't get any, so I need another job.  I am unwilling to quit my current job until I have a solid new job.  How many times have I written job in this post?  Hmm...

Taking a little break from my story.  I've written part of chapter 3, but I'm not done with it yet.

I've decided that since at the moment I'm not working on Tuesday and Wednesday's I should take advantage, or take more advantage of my free time.  Since I am a member of Lucille Roberts I am going to actually go to the gym.  Shocking, I know.  Tomorrow, I am going to take an ab class.  It's at 5:15, so I'm going to get there about an hour earlier and do some cardio, get myself stretched and warmed up.  I'm having dinner with a friend later so I hope I don't leave too smelly, hehe.

Today my day was alright, went to work.  My nursery class started with a lovely little boy spitting on the floor.  When I asked him what he was doing, his response was to rub his foot in the saliva.  I pulled him away from the class and he got to sit out for the remainder.  What bothered me more than the spitting was the insistence of my nemesis that we make this child feel bad about what he had done for the rest of the class.  She said, "Let's play ring around the rosy, he likes that game, he'll feel bad that he couldn't play."  I don't think that level of passive aggressive behavior is necessary.  I do consider it passive because she was speaking to me and not to the boy.  The rest of the kids were playing, he was sitting there watching, I don't think aiming an activity at him is necessary, like I said.

The most exciting that happened in gymnastics was an unexpected nose bleed.  A girl was standing there and then all of a sudden there was some blood on the floor.  We had to give her a nice gauze pad in which to absorb her blood and put an ice pack on her nose all while she was squeezing it.  It didn't take long to stop bleeding.  She just had to sit out for a few minutes, 8 at the most.  I had to clean the blood off the floor, that was fun.  Lysol wipes are wonderful.

Dinner got a little screwed up also.  My father and I went to get sandwiches.  I always order the same basic thing, turkey or roast beef on a bagel with lettuce.  I don't like tomatoes, not raw anyway.  I also generally hate condiments.  I just don't like unnecessary liquid mush on my food.  I really have a special hatred for mustard.  I won't eat mayo either, I think it's gross, but mustard has a certain smell to it which nauseates me.  So, I order my roast beef sandwich.  Dry.  My father orders his traditional jewish, roast beef, mustard on rye.  We get back to his house, we sit down to watch House on TV, we take out our food and, BAM!  My sandwich has mustard on it.  I was disgusted and pissed off.  I would have taken it back, but it was cold and House was starting.  I picked off the most meat that I could and ate it with way too many potato chips, trying to compensate for not having enough meat.  The left over mustardy meat goes towards my father's lunch tomorrow.  I was disappointed.  Actually, I'm hungry now because I didn't really eat enough dinner.

Ok, so that was my day... I'm going to go look for a salad or something of the sort.

Chapter 2

“Shit, what happened to you?”
“Ucch, I slipped and then the bus splashed me, I had to change.”
“You’re seriously going to walk around like that?”
“I can’t look that bad...”
“Um.. Steph, I gotta tell ya... It’s not good.”
“What do you mean? I know my clothes are a little big, but it’s just jeans and a shirt, how bad can it be?”
“It’s not the clothes. You have makeup running down your face. You look like a deranged member of KISS.”
“Thanks, appreciate it, really. You have any makeup remover?” 

It was a long agonizing day. Everyone I encountered asked me why I looked like shit. I

didn’t think I looked that horrible once I put my hair up and removed the eyeliner that dripped down my face.

I didn’t look so bad really, just like BNB, my old self. People didn’t treat me badly before, but they never paid any attention to me. When I changed my outer appearance, peoples

reaction to me changed also. 

“Wow Steph, I like that blouse! Looks great!”

“Damn girl that skirt is HAWT!” 

“Hey, where can I find me a pair of those shoes!?”

“Attention office: Stephanie approaches, watch out or she’ll burn you right up, burn baby burn!”

The reactions wore off after a week or two. People still commented on my new found style, but it was more... subdued, not overt and insane. All that attention was coming back

again, but in the opposite way. I felt like the old Steph in the new Steph’s body. Totally uncomfortable. I still had NB’s body. I was wearing my old shirt, which was too big, so I tied it

up so it sort of looked like one of those 80’s knots. My stomach was showing a little bit. At least I could still do that.

Once everybody got used to my new/old appearance work resumed as usual. Semi usual anyway. There were no customers at the club because the weather was so bad. I mean who

would want to come out in an ice storm unless they had to? I thought that we were crazy for

being open actually. The few people who did show up, were old. You know those people that go crazy if they can’t follow their routine? Those are the customers I got. I got call after call from people asking if we were open. Oddly enough, they must not have cared too much. I mean, if I got five calls in an hour about it, I got maybe.... zero of those people actually coming in.

By the afternoon the roads were fine, or so I heard. I work in a basement, couldn’t tell myself. The sidewalks were still a problem though. Wonderful. A girl, or young lady as my mother would say, came in. I guess the ice skating rink on the sidewalk couldn’t deter her any. 

“Can I get a tour of the gym?”

“Sure, would you like to see the rest of the facility?” 

“What?” 

“So the gym is this way. Follow me.” I walked her into the gym, body shop as we call it, and she looked around. The attendant in there asked her if she would like him to show her how the machines worked.

“This is it? There’s nothing else in here? Do all these machines work?” 

“Yes, all the machines work. Would you like Henry to show you how to use them?” 

“Sure.” 

She had this annoying high pitched sing songy voice. She was a little overweight and had some bad acne. I think she was a little.... Slow? She was twenty three and acted like a self righteous teenager. She stayed in the Body Shop with Henry for almost forty five minutes. Long enough so that when she came out again I was surprised to see her. I had managed to forget she was still there. 

“So how much is it to join the gym?” I took out the brochure and showed her the prices. For a single adult, she was 23, the price for the year was five hundred dollars. 

“That’s so much. Can you give me a discount?” 

“Well, there is a payment plan. You can speak to the front desk upstairs about that.” 

“Ohh.... You can’t give me a discount?” 

“I can’t do that, but they might be able to do something for you upstairs.” 

“It’s five hundred dollars just for that little gym?” 

“No. Like I was telling you before you get access to the entire Health & Fitness facility. Would you like me to show you around?”

“Oh. Ok.” 

I took her to the pool where she looked around. 

“This is it?” 

“For the pool? Yeah.” 

“Oh. I don’t know how to swim. Is there a lifeguard?” 

“There is always at least one lifeguard on duty all the time.” 

“Where is he now?” I was a little confused because the lifeguard was sitting right there, on his tall red guard chair wearing a bright red lifeguard t-shirt, so I pointed to him. 

“We do offer adult swimming classes and private lessons if you’re interested.” 

“Ohhh... that’s for free with the membership? 

“No, classes are additional, but there is a discount for members.” 

“So this pool and the little gym, is this it for five hundred dollars?” 

“No, if you come with me I’ll show you the rest.” 

“Ok.” 

I showed her the women’s locker room with the sauna in it. I showed her the showers, I told her the lockers were for daytime use only. 

“So, I can leave my stuff in the locker and use it when I come in?” 

“No, you have to take everything with you when you leave. The locks that are left on the lockers are clipped at night.” 

“Oh.” 

“Would you like to see the basketball court?” 

“Ok, do I have to bring my own basketball?” 

“No, we provide them.” After I told her about the steam room in the men’s locker room, which she could use on the hours which are set aside for only women, she turned around and asked me, “Can I work here with nursery kids?” 

“You would have to talk to the director of that department on the second floor.” 

“Oh. That’s upstairs?” 

“Um... Yeah.”

Unfortunately that was the highlight of my day. I went back to the desk and just sat there and answered the phones, “Yes, we’re open.” “Yes, classes are going on?” “No, we don’t have jujitsu classes, but we do have karate, tae kwon do, and tai chi.” A normal day.

     Ice Storm

                                  by Mira Nitzberg

Chapter 1

     When I woke up this morning there was a chill in the air and the familiar scent of pine in my bedroom.  I hadn't yet opened my eyes, I wanted to revel in the sleep that I had just woken from.  I love sleeping, it's so peaceful.  I had woken up with a feeling of lightness, maybe I had been dreaming of flying, who knows?  I ran my hands up my body and did a little stretch, like a cat I've been told.
     When I finally opened my eyes I saw that I had left my window open last night, wide open.  My landlord keeps the heat up so high in the evening that even on the coldest of winter days I have to leave my window up just to get some air.  When I know it's going to rain I only leave it open a crack, but I didn't know it was supposed to rain last night.  As I looked around my room I saw a puddle on the floor.  I walked towards the window to shut it and slipped on the puddle.  It was ice!  No wonder I was so cold.  The rain had actually turned to ice inside my room!  I wished I was still dreaming.
     I put a towel on top of the ice pond in my room and started to get ready for work.  I hoped that as the room got warmer during the day the ice would melt and the towel would absorb it.  I didn't have time to play around with ice in my room.
     I got my pajamas off and was now walking around my very cold room, naked.  I recently lost 20lbs and was obscenely obsessed with my body.  I had never been able to see my abs before, and I was taking every chance I could to show them off, even to myself.  I knew I was silly, but I was so proud that I didn't care.  After my weight loss I fixed the rest of myself up also.  I started dying my hair, I got my teeth whitened, I was getting manicures, pedicures, and waxing.... everywhere.  My boyfriend thought I was going overboard with my whole makeover thing, but what did he know?  He was naturally gorgeous.
     I walked over to the shower and made sure to keep the temperature rather low.  Warm enough so that I wasn't freezing, cold enough so that when I stepped out of the shower the cold air didn't make me even colder.  If the water temperature and the air temperature were about the same I wouldn't be too cold.  It's my theory anyway.
     After my shower I did my hair and make up.  Before my new body (BeforeNewBody) this took me about ten minutes.  I just brushed my hair and let it air dry, I put it up if I was cold.  Now I style my hair.  It's so strange to me that a little care and attention can really make a difference.  I'm not going to describe what I do to my hair, it's a secret, my own special recipe.  Maybe I'll market it one day.  After my hair was dry and ready (like the dreidel), I started in on my makeup.  Since I was going to work I still went light on the makeup.  While before "light" had been a little bit of lipgloss, lipstick if I was feeling feisty. now light meant that I was wearing foundation, blush, eyeshadow, and lipstick.  The whole shebang.  I just used natural colors.  The act of getting ready for work now took twice as long.  I had to wake up earlier for this which was a concession that BNB would never have made.  BNB loved sleeping, New Body still does, but NB finds looking good just as important.  I never thought I would be one of those people who would refer to herself in the third person.  Wow.
     By the time I was done with my makeup I had already picked the outfit I was going to wear for the day, in my head.  Self visualization is a very important part of being able to lose weight.  If you can see yourself as thin and beautiful, maybe with great clothes, it will happen.  It will!  As I walked past the towel on the floor I noticed that it was all wet.  I didn't have time to pick it up right then though.
     I stepped out of my house... and slid down the walkway.  I fell right on my ass.  My pants were just as wet as that towel in my room.  There was a sheet of ice covering everything and it was still raining.  I had to walk to the bus so slowly that I thought I was never going to get there.  I had never seen absolutely everything dripping with icicles before, it was beautiful, in a freaky winter ice storm kind of way.  If I had been a polar bear I would have been in heaven.
     As you might imagine, the buses were running late.  I stood there waiting, just waiting for a half hour as the frozen rain pounded down on my umbrella.  I thought that if I stood still long enough I might get a sheet of ice on my umbrella.  I had this idea that I would be able to remove the ice from the umbrella whole and be able to preserve the shape.  It just sounded so beautiful that I got mesmerized by the idea and was so busy standing still that I didn't see the bus slowly approaching.  I got completely soaked by the bus.  There was so much water on the ground that it didn't matter how slowly the bus was going.  I was standing too close to the edge of the sidewalk trying to create my ice umbrella.
     So much for that idea.  If I hadn't gotten soaked it probably wouldn't have worked anyway.  I would have frozen before the water on the umbrella.  By the time I got to work my makeup was ruined and I was so cold that my fingertips were turning blue.  Luckily, I had extra clothes at work so that I could at least get warm.  Unfortunately, my extra work clothes no longer fit me.  I hadn't replaced the clothes in my locker since before I started losing weight.  This wasn't promising to be a good day.

There are some people out there that think they are right about everything.  It doesn't matter what the topic, they know the answer.  They will create a question just so they can prove they can answer it.  It drives me crazy.

We are human beings and are supposed to run our own lives.  Our lives are not to be controlled by others.  There is such a thing as compromise, which is very important, it's how we learn to play well with others.  There are some who do not know the true meaning of the word though.  They say that they are giving up something, but what they really mean is that they are expecting you to give up something.  I know life isn't fair, why should it be?  But, the ability to choose what we want for ourselves is something nobody should be able to take away from us.

Parents say they want what is best for us.  In many cases that's true.  That doesn't mean that we have to follow what they want for our lives, we have to figure that out ourselves, make our own mistakes.  We might not always be right, but who is to say that someone older would be any more right?  I am not against advice given from a friend, from a parent.  I am against someone overriding your fundamental right to choose what is right for you.

I know I haven't made much sense.  Just ranting today.  Sometimes people with the best of intentions are the ones we need to be the most wary of.

Today was not a bad day.  Last night however, was a little bit aggravating.  Have you ever noticed that the more inconveniences happen to you the more you might get used to them?

Last night I actually fell asleep before 4:30am.  Since I was sick and I was sleeping so much my sleep schedule was completely thrown off.  I'm already an insomniac, so I have trouble sleeping before 2am.  Recently, I haven't been able to fall asleep until 4:30am.  Wonderful, right?  Fine.  I was exhausted on Sunday night, not even sure why, just a long day.  I fell asleep around 2:30am.  Good, right?  I was woken up around 4:00am by Danny, my cat.  He was sitting on my bed throwing up.  GREAT!  Read the sarcasm people.  He was on the edge of the bed.  He threw up there, I kicked him off the bed, he threw up again on the floor, and then went under the bed and... you guessed it, he threw up under the bed too!  Talk about aggravating inconveniences.  I had to clean my bed.  I couldn't face changing the sheets at that time of night so I just cleaned the vomit off and "washed" the comforter in that area.  Then I moved on to the floor.  That was much easier.  Then there was under the bed.  I had to move furniture in order to get to the puke.  I was thrilled that he threw up near the edge of the bed rather than the middle, that would have been a disaster.  I would have had to *take the beds apart and close one up...  Anyway. I was able to clean up all the vomit.

After the cleaning I couldn't fall back asleep for about an hour.  Therefore, I was tired and woke up later than I was planning to.  (1pm).  Shh, don't tell Rich.

I've got to leave now, so unless something earth shattering happen later I'll be back tomorrow.  Bye!

* I have two twin beds held together by a band that goes around the circumference of the bed making my two twin beds one large king bed.  So, If Danny had throw up under the back bed I would have had to take off the band and close one of the beds.  They are day risers.  So one of them goes up and down, fits under the other one.  Look it up if you don't know what I mean.

Friday was my first day out of the house since the previous Monday.  It was a long time to be in the house. On Tuesday I slept for just about 20 hours.  Even the few hours I was awake I was very drowsy.  On Wednesday I slept for.... maybe ten hours.  Slightly more normal.  I was drowsy all day though.

Thursday, I was still a little bit out of it, but I was ready to go out.  That's when there was a snowstorm and everything was closed.  Grr.  I was going stir crazy at that point.  I don't like being trapped in the house, especially with my mother home also.  Not that she was really bothering me.  I just knew she was there.  I could feel her presence of disapproval looming over me.  I know that I am being over dramatic about that.  I know.  It's just... I can't be fully comfortable when she's here.  I always think she's going to ask me to do something.... unnecessary.

Friday I had no reason to go out during the day, so I stayed in.  Friday evening Rich picked me up.  We went back to his house and had dinner with his parents and his brother and sister in law.  After they went home, Rich fell asleep.  I ended up watching the United States of Tara by myself.  I've never seen the show before, I don't get Showtime, but Rich does.  I like the show a lot.  It's written really well and acted really well.  It's a good combination.  Toni Collette is awesome.  She plays multiple personalities really well.  If you haven't seen the show, I'd check it out.  I watched episode 1-9 of season two, so Rich and I didn't go up to bed until about 4:30am.  It's ok, I've been sleeping so much lately that I didn't care.

Saturday, we went to Sports Authority to get Rich new work out pants.  He really needed new ones, trust me.  There were holes in the old ones.  In bad places.  After we got the pants we went to Costco.  What a crazy place.  Crowded.  Aggravating.  HOT!  It was so overly warm in there that I found myself looking for the refrigerator section so that I could cool off.  This is coming from someone who is more often than not, cold.  That is how hot is was in there.  Rich and I had a light lunch at California Pizza Kitchen.  We both got salads.

Rich and I went back to his house and he used his new work out pants.  Eventually we had dinner with his parents.  At some point I watched the last three episodes of Tara season two.  Now I can't wait until season three.  I am addicted.  We also watched Repo Men.  Any thoughts?  I have thoughts but I'll wait until next time.

Since it's late and I'm actually going to work tomorrow I'm going to sign off.  I'd appreciate at least one comment, just to see if anyone is reading....

Since I've been sick I've had nothing to write.  I haven't been outdoors since Monday.  I'm not really sick anymore, just left with a little cold.

So yeah... lots of snow, yatta yatta.

I got nothing.

I'll be back when I've been outside for a little while.

I'm sitting here at work now and I just wanted to mention that I saw a dinosaur today.  He (maybe she?) walked up to desk and asked if we had any classes for his two daughters.  I really wasn't sure what to say.  I mean it isn't very often that we get his kind.  I don't want to seem as though I am discriminatory, but... there really isn't any room for him in the classes.  I don't mean that we are overflowing with registration.  I mean just what I say.  He does not fit in the classrooms.

After explaining this to him, he asked if we could set up a private gymnastics class for his daughters. 

"Unfortunately, we only have the gymnastics equipment set up during classes, sir."
"Oh.  Well do you have anyone that does private tutoring?  They could come to my home."
"Your home?"
"Yes, I have a very large area of my cave in the basement.  Would I have to get anything?"
"Well... I'm not really sure.  You would have to talk to the teacher about that.  I would assume that at the very least you need mats.  I actually know someone who might be interested.  He does personal training, he's a physical therapist, and he teaches gymnastics."
"Oh!  Can you give me his number?"
"Well... I'm not at liberty to divulge that information to customers.  If you leave your name and number I'll give him the information."
"You won't forget about me as soon as I leave?"
"I don't think I could even if I wanted to, sir.  You're very memorable."

It turns out that my recommendation worked out.  It just goes to show that dinosaurs are people just like everyone else.

The Pros and Cons of Waking Up Early:

Pros:

1. Get more done
2. Feel productive
3. You don't get that "I've slept too long" slump
4. You get to see the sun (which doesn't apply to me since I work in a basement)
5. You (apparently) can write in your blog
6. You can actually eat 3 meals in the day at normal hours (yeah, which again doesn't apply to me)

Cons:

1. You are tired- all day
2. In my case, my stomach hurts until 1pm or so
3. You don't get to dream as much.  This is a really big deal for me.  I love dreaming.  The longer I sleep the more likely I am to remember my dreams.  Also, they get more interesting the longer I sleep.  I've had dreams about a Pepsi factory out in the woods.  Interestingly enough, I don't even like Pepsi, I prefer Coco-Cola.
4. You get the bitch fest thing.  I'm not a morning person, stay out of my way.
5. You have to eat more meals a day.
6. Have I mentioned that you're tired all day?

Maybe it's just me.  I don't like waking up early, but I feel more productive when I do.  Also, if I sleep too late I am exhausted all day, until maybe 10pm, which is when my mind starts waking up.  I feel sluggish and slow.  It's not fun.  I love sleeping though!  They say people who sleep all day are depressed.  I am not depressed.  I just enjoy curling up in my bed, pulling my covers up over me, and lying sleeping.  It is definitely the most relaxing thing to do.

I don't have a problem waking up early if I have something to do.  Today, I woke up and went to work, where I am now.  My stomach still hurts, but it will pass.  If I try waking up early when I know I have nowhere to go, it won't work.  I guess it's psychological.  My biological clock is backwards or something like that.  I can't fall asleep until, at the earliest, 2am, and I naturally don't wake up until 12pm, or later.  What I really need is a reason to wake up early on a regular basis.  I need a full time job.

It's been suggested to me that I go into high end retail.  My question is, who would hire me without previous retail experience.  Sure I work at the desk.  I sell bathing caps, goggles and master locks and the occasional nose plug.  I don't sell clothes.  What I do sell, are classes.  I have to convince people that they can't live without signing their kids up for gymnastics or swimming.  They need to believe that they really need to take Pilates.  These things may or may not be true.  I do believe that physical fitness is very important for people of all ages, but what I believe is immaterial.  If I can convince someone to register for a class that they were perhaps of the fence about I feel as if I have accomplished something.

I was actually thinking about getting a NYS real estate license.  It might not be good to solely rely on real estate as income in this economy, but in my case, where I'm only working part time anyway, it couldn't hurt.  Once I have my license, I have it.  I always have it.  I could always use it, or not.  Getting the license doesn't cost so much that it's not doable, so I think I should do it.

What do you think?

Not writing much for now, too tired.

I had a good weekend filled with Rich.  There was a lot of Rich, I was very happy about all the Rich.  I made a rotisserie chicken on Saturday and a oven roasted chicken today.  Lots of Rich and chicken.  There were string beans to be had and pasta for me.  Unfortunately, there was a  ice cream bar, and a  ice cream bar and   bar too.  I was a naughty girl.


It was a cold weekend and all through the day and night I wore fleece upon fleece holding myself tight.  I wore shirt over shirt and pants over leggings socks with slippers and a scarf at times too.  I wanted more heat but alas could not find it.  I happily covered myself with a blanket.  To crawl in the oven might have been nice, but wo-es me, it was full of chicken!


Ok, I'm done.  Have a good night!

Hello All....

I'm sorry I haven't written in a few days.  I did warn you though that it was going to be hard for me to maintain the blog everyday.  You wouldn't think it would be so hard, but it is.

I just have not been feeling very creative lately.  I haven't written anything.  I feel very backed up actually.  It's like creative constipation.  I haven't taken any photographs and I haven't written... anything.  My mystery story lies woefully unfinished.  It's starting to depress me actually.  I must have a first draft of my completed story by this time next week!

Moving on...  My wedding dress is here.  Ok, well, it's not here with me.  However, it is at the store.  After I drop off the final payment I can pick it up whenever I want.  I'm not even going to try it on until at least next Friday.  As for picking it up...  I don't have a check for them right now, but aside from that, I'm not thrilled about the dress spending so many months in my little closet.  I somehow didn't factor that into my expectations of weddings dresses and fittings.  I thought there would be multiple fittings, three at least.  Now that I think about it, it makes sense not to keep trying and altering the dress.  That can't be good.  There is a fitting 8-6 weeks before the wedding.  Assuming I don't lose (or gain) any weight after that, it should all be good.  I'm assuming I can always have some sort of last minute alteration if I have to, but frankly, my weight doesn't fluctuate all that much.  I will attempt to lose weight, a little bit, in a few months.  Until then, I think I am happy enough with myself.

Bridesmaids dresses.  I have chosen the colors.  Berry and Eggplant.  I am letting my bridesmaids pick the style of the dress they want, I don't want to torture anyone.  Imposing a color or two is bad enough.  I'm just telling them that they must get the dress from Alfred Angelo so that the colors all match.  I also told them I want them to get their shoes from Nina shoes.  Style- Forbes.  Color- Grape Luster.  They are nice, the heel isn't too high, and they are comfortable.  Also, it seems that Grape in Nina is basically the same color as Eggplant in Alfred Angelo, always nice.

Now if I can just find a time when we can all meet and look at dresses together....

It's about 2pm on Sunday.  I am bored.  I'm not only bored but somehow... drained.  I feel like I've been drained of all my creative energy.  I can't concentrate on anything long enough to do it.  I cleaned, or neatened, my room yesterday, so I don't have to do that.  I should be working on my story and looking for a job also.

I'm not sure I even have enough concentration to finish this blog entry.

One bird flew into a nest
Two birds sat on baby blue eggs
Three birds chirped hungrily, mouths open
Four birds flew south for the winter

One human went hunting
All the birds are dead.

Not sure where that came from.  A little birdie told me?

I bought wedding invitations today.  I got them at Staples.  I know what you're thinking.  Really, they aren't that bad.  They had some nice ones at Michael's, but...  I would have ended up paying just as much for them there as I would have if I was going to hire someone to make them for me.

I plan to do this myself, with the help of some very helpful bridesmaids, whether they know it or not.  They'll know soon enough.  They are very plain, but I will spruce them up.  They are ivory, with a gold rim.  They go well with Westbury Manor decor.  They come with a ivory ribbon, but i might buy something more colorful.  I'm planning the writing to be purple and I think we'll stamp something wedding-ish on there also.

It should look ok.  They were cheap enough that if I find something better I may get something else.  I'm actually pretty excited about them though.  This is starting to be real.

Thursday was a very interesting day.  My boss texted me late Wednesday night and asked if I could possibly come into work Thursday at 9:30am rather than 2:00pm.  That would mean that I would be teaching from 9:30 to 6:00.  I said sure.  The she said she wasn't positive if I was going to need to come in. I said that I just needed to know before 8am on Thursday so that I would have time to get there.

Flash forward to Friday at 7:50am, I am not needed until my normal time.  Ugh.  So now I am having trouble falling back asleep.  Woo!  I got to work and found out that something bad had happened in the neighborhood, to a friend and co-worker the night before.  She was attacked going home.  I'm not going to get into it, but look, this is supposed to be a safe neighborhood!  It's also been happening in my fiance's area, and his is also supposed to be a safe area.  I know it's cliche, but what's the world coming to?!?!

Anyway, I taught my classes, nothing too exciting there.  I stayed at the office until almost 7:00, an hour after I finish, because I was waiting for my fiance.  We were going to have dinner together because we're not seeing each other this weekend.  He and his father went to Gettysburg, Pa.  They'll be back on Monday.  So, Rich and I had dinner at Manor Oktoberfest.  It's a German restaurant/ bar.  If you like that type of thing it's pretty good.  Unfortunately, it's not my favorite thing.  It wasn't bad.  I was freezing the entire time.  I'm not sure if that's because it was really cold in there, or because I'm just a cold person.  Either way, I had to huddle next to Rich just to keep my teeth from chattering.

We got back to my house and... nothing.  We were trying to watch a horrible movie.  Cop Out.  Bruce Willis and Tracey Morgan.  I do not recommend (it wasn't my idea to begin with, shhhh, don't tell Rich).    Rich fell asleep in the middle, which is ok, because I wanted to change the channel, hehe.  I ended up flipping channels until he woke up.  Then we talked until he had to go home.  He said he was sooo tired.  Apparently, Rich was so tired that when he got home he did work.  He stayed up until 5:40am working on his research.  5:40 AM!  At which point he texted me.  So, I was woken up again.  I think I would have rather he called me.  Less jarring maybe.  I don't know.  I know I shouldn't be angry at him for staying up so late, or early, but he was driving to PA today!  I mean, sheesh!

I had work today, so I had to be up at 8am anyway.  I never really fell back asleep after the texting.  So, I've been up since about 6am.  I know that isn't crazy early, I understand that.  However, since I do not wake up early unless I have to... that is early for me.  I went to work.  Co-taught 3 classes.  Then I went home.  I was supposed to meet up with a friend, but he had to cancel.  I was so tired that it worked out.  I would have fallen asleep.

I just came home and made lunch.  Then I really did fall asleep.  Very exciting, I know.  I had shabbat dinner with my mother and step father.  It was fine.  Same as usual.  Salmon.

I'm tired again, so I'm going to go lie down.

You know the by who cried wolf?  Well today was the weatherman who cried storm.  Yes, it did snow.  It snowed a few inches.  It was annoying.  People had to shovel, people had to dig around their cars, plows were called out, salt was put down.  There was not over a foot of snow, schools were not closed.  We were expecting this to be a lot worse.  It was however quite cold.  I was cold.  I was wearing a tank top, a long sleeved shirt, a heavy sweatshirt, jeans, tights under my jeans, waterproof snow boots, lined leather gloves, and a ski jacket along with two hoods on my head.  Did I mention I was cold?  I think it had more to do with the wind than the actual temperature.

When there is a cold wind, any wind really, I tear.  I tear a lot.  I look like I'm hysterical.  My face gets so cold from the constant tears and there is nothing I can do about it.

Did I mention that I was in the city for the second day in the row?  I don't like the city, it's crowded, dirty, and you have to do a lot of walking.  I normally do a lot of walking, maybe it just feels like more when you're walking down straight block after block rather than turning and walking through slightly rural areas. I don't mind the walking, I don't.  My legs hurt!  I overstretched on Monday and walked around all day in the city yesterday and today.  I AM TIRED!!!

I met my friend D....... in Union Square today.  We were on the hunt for various makeup things.  We went in and out of many a Duane Reade and CVS.  I don't mind.  I found some stuff 75% off.  That's always fun.

I am just very tired and do not have the energy to write more today.  I need a project to keep myself occupied.  I am writing a story, maybe I should attempt to write about two pages a day, if not more, everyday and post it.  My story is about my cat.  It's a detective story in which the main character is a feline, and a private dick.  It is his job to solve the mystery of the stolen statue and the missing neighbor.  I need to start working on it again.....