DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT REAL, THIS IS A STORY. IT HAS BEEN CONTINUED UP TO A POINT, BUT IS NOT COMPLETE, TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK...


What do I want to do with my life? What does anybody do? They get born, they live, and they die. The first and last part are beyond their control, but it’s that pesky middle part that gets a person into trouble. Personally, I have no fucking idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. All I know is that I don’t want to be bossed around, be bored, and I don’t want to have to deal with stupid people. That leaves out so many things! I can’t own a store, I can’t be a teacher, I can’t... Come to think of it, with those requirements I can’t do anything. Oh well I guess it’s time to move on to the final part of life. Death. Just kidding, don’t want to die just yet. What I do want to do is finish with school. I’m so sick of it. Once you get out of high school, they tell you life is supposed to begin, but it doesn’t, it’s just more of the same shit! The way my life is going I feel like I’ll be in school for the rest of my days on this planet. The only thing I have any talent for is telling stupid little quips of jokes, and writing. Oh yeah, and working with children. So what can I do with that information? Nothing. All it tells me is that my destiny is to either be a teacher, a stand up comic (yeah right!), or a writer. None of which I want to do, at least not for the rest of my life. I already ruled out teacher, so I guess I have to either be a comic, or a writer. If you’re a comic you have to deal with stupid people, so according to my requirements I can’t do that. so what have I decided? To be a writer? I’m not original enough. Everything has been done to death, there really are no new possibilities. To create new ones the human race has to die out and a new race begin, that’s also been done to death. Ironic huh? Maybe not.
Anyway, to figure out what I want to do first I have get the hell out of here. You see I’m stuck. My foot’s stuck in this fucking boot and I can’t get it out! Just kidding. The truth is that I am trapped, but I’m not sure where. Not physically by the way, I’m not being restrained or anything. Seriously, what did you think I was going to say, “Help, I’m being beaten to death rescue me!” That is so mundane. I’m speaking mental anguish here, true torture. I am so bored with life, I can’t think of anything to make it more endurable. At least not in a way I would enjoy. I could get ripped out of my gorde, but what would be the point? I could try drugs, but I don’t want to be one of those stupid people I hate so much, so no. I could quit my job, drop out of school and bum around the country, or maybe Europe! I could go to Paris and study abroad, learn french! I could go to Switzerland and ski the Swiss Alps, I could... Caught you. You thought I was serious didn’t you, thought I was getting all excited about something didn’t you. Well think again, I don’t get excited that easily. That of course is partially the problem. I don’t get excited easily. I am not passionate about anything. If I were then I wouldn’t have the problem of not knowing what to do with my life, the middle part that is. I have the end all planned. I won’t tell you about that though, you’ll just have to be surprised at my funeral like the rest of the world. Sorry.