This is a conversation that took place between me and a former friend at the end of November. Any guys out there reading this, here is an example of what not to do. To any girls out there reading this, here is an exapmle of what not to take from a guy, or anyone for that matter. I added the lettter to the conversation afterwards, obviously.



Alphbert (2:13:35 AM): HEY
Alphbert (2:13:37 AM): HEY
Moi (2:13:49 AM): Hi
Alphbert (2:13:57 AM): how you doin
Alphbert (2:14:03 AM): im tipsy
Alphbert (2:14:08 AM): so how is your boobs
Alphbert (2:14:17 AM): good ?
Alphbert (2:14:25 AM): let meet now and boink

(it went on like that for a while, you can imagine the rest.)

This next part is a letter I wrote to "Alphbert".

I want you to read that, pretending you were me. Then tell me I’m overreacting. Alphbert, I liked you, I trusted you. And you have so far treated me like shit. You cancelled on me twice, and just plain old stood me up once before we met. You then told me that you didn’t think we could have a relationship because I was too quiet. I didn’t argue the point with you. Then you contacted me again, you said something like you missed me. Fine. So we talked for a while. We never went out again. You were always busy, or something came up. But we still talked. I never did know whether you were lying about being busy, or you really were. I chose to believe you, because I liked you. Fine.

For some reason, I still trusted you. Then last night you popped up on my screen. You told me you had been drinking, and that you were tipsy. I didn’t doubt that. I still believe there was alcohol involved. You talked to me as if I were a paid whore, paid to listen to the garbage you were spitting out. The fact that you told me today that your friend was over at your house encouraging this act of stupidity, just makes it worse. How dare you talk to me that way. But to do it, with someone else sitting right there is even more disgusting. And to have the gall to be annoyed at me, for being mad at you, takes real chutzpah. It doesn’t matter how comfortable you think we are with each other, that type of dehumanizing and objectifying of women, of me, is disgusting. I seriously hope you can get that through your thick skull. You don’t even stay around long enough to be yelled at. I sat there and listened to all your shit, although I was planning to block your IM address if you said one more filthy word. Today you said you were busy and couldn’t talk anymore, oh please. You don’t have the courage of your convictions. You are neurotic. You are a liar. Sometimes, you are an asshole. However, mostly, you are a coward.

Oh yeah, one more thing, just a little tip. You ever do this to a girl again, don’t tell her your friend was there, and if you already told her you were drunk, just go with it. Don’t admit that you weren’t really all that drunk, that just makes it worse. At least if you’re drunk you have an excuse, and the possibility of forgiveness.